Saturday 28 January 2012

Yeah, it's Potty Time! // Early Toileting

In the interest of documenting the rhythm of our days, I could not resist sharing a photo of something that is taking up a large part of home life right now! While it's summer we are working towards Eli moving out of nappies/diapers full time. Among other benefits, our obsessive little book reader is enjoying the opportunity to read even more - in fact he often says he needs to go potty just as an excuse to read a few more books, cheeky boy!




His big sister was potty-trained at this same age (18months), but before having my second child I started hearing and researching about some different 'toilet training' concepts, and so Eli has been using the potty more-or-less consistently since he was a baby, using the principles of Elimination Communication (EC) and a fantastic book called Diaper Free Before Three by Jill M Lekovic M.D. which is kind of a middle ground between E.C. and the 'wait till they are 'ready' around 2-3-4 years' theory. It gives a fascinating history of potty training (Ummmm yes, I realise how tragic that sounds, and rather indicative of this phase of life but HEY these are the times, right?! But truly - fascinating!!) and also the science/medical/developmental side of things - for example I was amazed to learn that it's really only since disposables became prevelant in the 70's that people started delaying potty training to 2/3/4years - before then (and still currently in many other cultures) babies were regular 'nappy-free' by about 12-18 months or even earlier! Very interesting and so different to much of the current potty training philosophy.

I like the concept of EC (tuning into your baby's natural instincts) and have always been intrigued by it - and applaud the parents who are dedicated enough to take the time to tune into their child's natural cues - however I just wasn't committed or consistent enough to take him more than once or twice a day. The basic idea of Diaper Free (similar to EC) is that by making 'potty time' a regular part of a child's routine even from before a year old, they will learn through cues and their own instincts to 'release' at those times (rather than waiting till a full bladder and having to learning to 'hold on' if you know what I mean!). At 6 months old, Eli had a regular routine of sitting on the potty a couple times a day and 'producing' most of the time - but I wasn't ready to go nappy-free just yet!

Now the weather is warm and with the added bonus of our new home having non-carpeted floors, he is going nappy-free (and wearing super-cutey-patootie-underwear) most of the time we are at home now and hopefully will be full time nappy free pretty soon!? We are not brave enough for outings just yet! I am curious to see how it goes as he has been going potty since he was so tiny so has much more association and awareness about his body, but then he is a boy and while Lily got the hang of things pretty quickly at 18 months (led by her own interest and awareness!), you do often hear that boys generally take a bit longer. So we shall see how we go! Anyway, not feeling stressed about it, it's a learning process for them and a bit more effort for me being on top of things but just another stage to move through, right?! I really prefer potty-training before two though as I find it avoids much of the power struggle that can happen later and instead becomes something they really desire to do and their ability to catch on just amazes me.

Anyway. If you had told me five years ago I would have been interested enough in such a topic to read a 'history' on it, I would have shook my head in dismay, lol!! But with little kids, I guess it is something I am not just currently in the midst of, but have obviously had to think through and work on. I wanted to record my current thoughts and how we got to the approach that works for us. I feel I should probably add that this is just what has worked for us and the approach I wanted to take because it made sense to me (and I had the time and inclination to do it too) - I know all kids are different and so are their parents in terms of what approach feels right for them (also depending on time, energy, philosophy, etc!). So yeah, this is simply our take on toileting, no single 'right way' just like pretty much all aspects of parenting!!




But for now.... I am laughing daily at Eli carrying the potty through the house with him wherever he goes (this is just his own initiative, funny boy!), chuckling when he shouts 'Weeeweeee! KhiKhiKhi!!!' (this is his version of me saying 'quick quick' when trying to get him to the potty on time! Occasionally, sighing when cleaning up a wet spot, and smirking when he insists he needs to sit on the potty, when the three books in his hands indicates he is really just after a little reading time with Mummy! ;)

Oh and I really must give a shout out to his biggest cheerleader, Lily - she always gives him cheers and cuddles at every success and is constantly enquiring if he needs to use the facilities!! A couple of extra delights in this process are more reading time with my little man while he is sitting on the 'throne'.... and the pleased and proud look on his face when he has a success, usually giving himself a little cheer too!

Way to 'go', Little E!


PS For the updated post on this subject a few weeks later, click here. Things went very well :)

13 comments:

  1. Hey nice one! Cute photos and nice to take advantage of the summer to move away from those nappies :) I can relate to so many things - we did a kind of an EC-lite approach too, which worked well for our family. Our little girl has been out of nappies for a few months now (she is the same age as Eli) and it was all pretty smooth and easy. I am not nearly as well researched as you though :p
    Totally unrelated: who can I pay to make my hair look like Eli's?!
    The other thing I can relate to is the sneaky suggesting to go to the loo just to get an extra couple of books read, haha.. so cute.

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    1. EC-lite - thats the perfect phrase, love it!!! that is wonderful your little lady is already out of nappies - great encouragement for me as we get through the most intensive phase! well done to you guys :)
      Ah yeah, if I knew how to get hair like Eli's, i would be begging for it too, lol, I have hair envy towards my own child ;) Its just gorgeous isnt it. I keep saying Im going to book an hair apt but I just.cannot.do.it. :) xx

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  2. Oh Kate, you really have the biggest encyclopedic knowledge of baby theory! I'm so impressed that you've been training Eli to use the potty since day dot - but even more impressed by your continued dedication to question the status quo, and then boldly go where few dare (or haven't thought to) tread!

    Alas, I fear that perhaps Arddun might be a little too late, although maybe I should read up more. But I TOTALLY relate to your little man. LOVE reading when... uh... relaxing, too. ;D

    TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!

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    1. haha Velle!! well firstly, just remember Im on my 2nd time around, so you do tend to pick up a fair bit along the way :) But I admit I do love researching and understanding theories and ideas and thinking through the what/why/how of different approaches. After I wrote the line about laughing at myself 5yrs ago I realised thats not quite true as Im always fascinated at histories/background of things, and have read up on stuff that has absolutely NO bearing on my life at all - im weird like that haha and as im in the kid phase that is a lot of my focus right now. And yes I guess I do like to understand why and am willing to do things differently if i think it makes sense :)
      As for Arddun- NOT TOO LATE - in fact, perfect timing to start sitting her on the potty, just make it part of your routine, like after meals and naps etc! I can bring the Diaper Free book for your perusal if you wish :)
      Ummm am i even supposed to make comment replies this long?? oops forgive me im new at this ;)

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    2. Not sure that I'll have the patience or the timing right. She tends to go while she's eating. Which makes things rather awkward.

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    3. heehee yeah that is pretty common (and awkward!) - anyway if ur curious the book is still pretty interesting for whatever age you want to get started!

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  3. Well done to you guys... our little girl is 19 months old and actaully quite interested in using the potty and starting to tell us when she needs to wee.... My husband is much better at persevering than me... I'm 35 weeks preggy and struggling with patience :( Maybe Ruby needs to come hang out with Eli and his patient Mumma!!!
    Thanks for giving me a kick in the pants for tomorrow! K :)

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    1. ooh sounds like she is ready to give it a go too :) 19m is a great age to get into things or just make potty time routine... but then hey you are also very pg with a lot of change to come, so dont put too much pressure on yourself, just do what you can IF you are up to it!

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  4. Wow, Kate you are amazing. You are so in tune with your kids and their needs. With no. 3 (if) I will look into this.

    Love that Lily is little E's cheerleader!

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    1. Thanks hon! I guess its just something ive decided to 'invest in' w this stategy - just as you do and are so in tune w so many things w your kids!

      Ooh IF Number 3 huh.... that sounds promising?!!? ;)

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  5. Kate, since you started later with Lily can you tell me how you got started? I tried PT Lucas at 23m and he did GREAT for a few months, then starting wetting his undies occasionally which progressed to always wetting his pants. With Bella to care for and Asher's due date approaching I finally gave in and put him back in diapers. He would still tell me he had to poo though and go in the toilet. That is, until my mom and sister visited and Asher was born and that stopped. SIGH. Just recently he has told me he had to poo a couple times and he has also started standing up to go tinkle like his daddy (so cute how proud he is when he does it and how we all celebrate with high 5's!!). Anyways, he will be 3 the end of next month and Bella will be 18m, so I'm thinking to start with both of them together. Bella is aware of what xixi (tinkle) is and poo as well and yesterday she even pointed to the toilet and said "xixi" so I think we should start?!?! And I think the competition will really help Lucas WANT to do it! So... long comment, huh? LOL. But can you offer suggestions on starting with her?

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    1. hey kelly - good idea to do them both together, i have a friend who is doing that and the younger one is definitely leading the way! yup i think dive in w Bella. for her, i would just make it part of your routine to have potty time. put her in underwear or nthing when you are at home as much as you can. even the process of accidents builds learning and awareness, you know? good times for regular potty times are about 15 mins after meals, after baths, and after sleeps. thats when they often naturally want to go. depending on how keen she is, you can reward just for sitting on potty (if reluctant) or just for 'producing' - whether reward w a treat or at this age just a cheer and cuddle will do the job! hth?? feel free to email me to brainstorm further! xx kate

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